the soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears

I managed to sleep for a few hours but when I woke up I was hoping that my reality had been a nightmare. It wasn't. I wanted to go to church with my parents. I love to hear Cam's sermons. But I knew that I might start crying the minute I walked in the door. I could just feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. So I asked them to leave me here and alone for a bit. But really it was so I could just cry and cry those kind of sobbing moments that you just don't want another person to see or hear. I can see what a beautiful and gorgeous day is right outside. The sun is shining and a cardinal is looking for food. For a moment I thought maybe I will step outside and feel the warmth and then I remembered that we were supposed to go on the boat today in my other life. And I got sad all over again. But I want you to know my friends and family are who are getting me through this horrible time. The amazing prayers that many of you have prayed with me, the love pouring through on facebook, the texts, the calls and the recruitment of others to add me in their prayers has been wonderful. I know god is working through all of you to remind me that I am loved. I am a special child of god and I am strong enough to get through this. I can only imagine what going through this would be like without the love and support of some of the most amazing people I have had the pleasure to know. Thank you all so much for allowing me to lean on you. The title of this post came from a quote I saw today. It's a Native American saying. I have had so many tears flowing and and I like to think they are just paving the way for the Rainbow in my soul.